Stage 6: Hope
The Vigil (Part 03)
In the early hours of the morning I make promises to myself
As the sky lightens to the colour of a pearl:
That I will mourn you forever, but I will love someone else;
That I will never forget you, that I will live in the world.
Alive
Days later, I fly west during a three hour sunset,
Surrounded by the soft breath of strangers,
Our lives held in sleeping suspense.
And there is only this moment -
And there is only this breath -
And then there is the next.
Days later, I fly west during a three hour sunset,
Surrounded by the soft breath of strangers,
Our lives held in sleeping suspense.
And there is only this moment -
And there is only this breath -
And then there is the next.
Delight
In the slumbering city
I stay awake tonight
To watch glowing windows
Frame other people’s lives.
Now that I’m alone
My soul is free to dream,
To let the music take me
To places unseen.
Dreams gleam quicksilver
In the gathering night.
This then is my comfort,
This is my delight.
In the slumbering city
I stay awake tonight
To watch glowing windows
Frame other people’s lives.
Now that I’m alone
My soul is free to dream,
To let the music take me
To places unseen.
Dreams gleam quicksilver
In the gathering night.
This then is my comfort,
This is my delight.
Love of my life
Love is fleeting, it doesn’t last.
This moment, like all others, too shall pass.
This isn’t forever - nothing ever is -
And we’ll pay for this later with loneliness.
But though I am stormy, I am strong
and love is how I will survive.
This world is cold, this world is cruel,
But you are warm and I’m no fool.
Their love is fickle, not worth a dime,
My love is loyal and your love is mine.
For though you are stormy, you are strong
And you are the love of my life.
I am your home, I am your warmth,
I am your shelter from the storm.
Love always ends - in death or divorce -
Our loves and our lives shall run their course.
But though we are stormy, we are strong
and our love is how we will survive.
Love is fleeting, it doesn’t last.
This moment, like all others, too shall pass.
This isn’t forever - nothing ever is -
And we’ll pay for this later with loneliness.
But though I am stormy, I am strong
and love is how I will survive.
This world is cold, this world is cruel,
But you are warm and I’m no fool.
Their love is fickle, not worth a dime,
My love is loyal and your love is mine.
For though you are stormy, you are strong
And you are the love of my life.
I am your home, I am your warmth,
I am your shelter from the storm.
Love always ends - in death or divorce -
Our loves and our lives shall run their course.
But though we are stormy, we are strong
and our love is how we will survive.
Whole
We are not one, but two: two strong minds,
Two clashing egos, two stubborn souls,
Two independent lives.
We are not halves, but whole.
We live together, love and fight together,
At night we sleep together in a warm, cosy glow.
But we are two strikingly different individuals.
We are not halves, but whole.
After twenty eight years we can call each other
out on our shit. That’s necessary, you know?
To not just talk, but also to listen.
To let our bullshit go.
Neglected love will wither and die,
but if we take care, our love will grow
ever stronger and deeper, our lives entwined.
But we are not halves. We are whole.
We are not one, but two: two strong minds,
Two clashing egos, two stubborn souls,
Two independent lives.
We are not halves, but whole.
We live together, love and fight together,
At night we sleep together in a warm, cosy glow.
But we are two strikingly different individuals.
We are not halves, but whole.
After twenty eight years we can call each other
out on our shit. That’s necessary, you know?
To not just talk, but also to listen.
To let our bullshit go.
Neglected love will wither and die,
but if we take care, our love will grow
ever stronger and deeper, our lives entwined.
But we are not halves. We are whole.
Dust Bunnies
Oh hell - there go those
damn dust bunnies again,
playing tag under the sofa,
chasing each other up the stairs.
I suppose you think I should go
and chase them down,
and dispose of them
in the dustbin over there?
Not me - I’ll leave the bunnies alone,
I’ll let them play
While I sit here in the newborn sun
and I dream the day away.
Busy people call me lazy
but I think they’re crazy,
spending their precious
leisure hours
chasing after dust.
And do they never wonder -
what is the point? When dust
is what becomes of all of us?
Oh hell - there go those
damn dust bunnies again,
playing tag under the sofa,
chasing each other up the stairs.
I suppose you think I should go
and chase them down,
and dispose of them
in the dustbin over there?
Not me - I’ll leave the bunnies alone,
I’ll let them play
While I sit here in the newborn sun
and I dream the day away.
Busy people call me lazy
but I think they’re crazy,
spending their precious
leisure hours
chasing after dust.
And do they never wonder -
what is the point? When dust
is what becomes of all of us?
This Moment
This moment
(isn’t going to last, while it lasts)
is a quiet morning walk after the rain,
a damp wind that smells of home,
a hand to hold,
a kiss softer than mist…
...this moment slips away.
This moment
(isn’t going to last, while it lasts)
is a quiet morning walk after the rain,
a damp wind that smells of home,
a hand to hold,
a kiss softer than mist…
...this moment slips away.
Under the covers
We fill our beds
With the people we love -
Our children,
Dogs and lovers.
No wonder then,
That we cannot sleep -
There’s no room for us
Under the covers.
We fill our beds
With the people we love -
Our children,
Dogs and lovers.
No wonder then,
That we cannot sleep -
There’s no room for us
Under the covers.
Wooster
You turn nine today
and your ears are turning grey,
but that’s okay,
you’re here right now
and in my heart you’ll stay.
And I know one day
you’ll have to go away,
but that’s okay,
you’re here right now
and in my heart you’ll stay.
You turn nine today
and your ears are turning grey,
but that’s okay,
you’re here right now
and in my heart you’ll stay.
And I know one day
you’ll have to go away,
but that’s okay,
you’re here right now
and in my heart you’ll stay.
Dive back in
I was going to write this as a metaphor,
but that won’t work I think.
I’m not standing on a sandy shore,
but washing dishes in the sink.
(I’ve talked too much of storms and oceans -
I’m drowning in all those words -
And I don’t know why I always have to
write these bloody things in verse.)
There were days when I wanted to hide from the world,
to just stay in my bed.
But you stayed with me and gave me a reason
to get up, get out, get dressed.
Life hurts so much and we all live in a world
that is terrible, cruel and unfair.
Love hurts so much - but how much worse would it be
if no one actually cared?
I thought I was going to live a wintry life,
a defiant, loveless island; alone.
(There I go with the metaphors again.)
But I am not made of stone.
I’m afraid of being hurt again -
by you or by someone else.
I’m easily hurt and will be hurt again,
but in caring for others, I care for myself.
Some days are good and I am growing stronger,
but not each and every day.
Some days are bad and today I am sad
and I am more than a little afraid.
(This isn’t going the way I want it to,
but I guess it could be worse.
And I don’t know why I always have to
write these bloody things in verse.)
My heart ached and I swore off love - I swore off life -
I was ready to ditch the whole bloody thing.
But here I stand at the kitchen sink, thinking
Of how I love you. Ready to dive back in.
I was going to write this as a metaphor,
but that won’t work I think.
I’m not standing on a sandy shore,
but washing dishes in the sink.
(I’ve talked too much of storms and oceans -
I’m drowning in all those words -
And I don’t know why I always have to
write these bloody things in verse.)
There were days when I wanted to hide from the world,
to just stay in my bed.
But you stayed with me and gave me a reason
to get up, get out, get dressed.
Life hurts so much and we all live in a world
that is terrible, cruel and unfair.
Love hurts so much - but how much worse would it be
if no one actually cared?
I thought I was going to live a wintry life,
a defiant, loveless island; alone.
(There I go with the metaphors again.)
But I am not made of stone.
I’m afraid of being hurt again -
by you or by someone else.
I’m easily hurt and will be hurt again,
but in caring for others, I care for myself.
Some days are good and I am growing stronger,
but not each and every day.
Some days are bad and today I am sad
and I am more than a little afraid.
(This isn’t going the way I want it to,
but I guess it could be worse.
And I don’t know why I always have to
write these bloody things in verse.)
My heart ached and I swore off love - I swore off life -
I was ready to ditch the whole bloody thing.
But here I stand at the kitchen sink, thinking
Of how I love you. Ready to dive back in.